requested by officerscherbatsky

i’m depressed. When I feel like this, I don’t talk about it much. In fact, it’s hard to have a conversation with anybody about anything. Sometimes I’ll get caught in a conversation I want to respond appropriately, but I don’t say anything. I try to smile so other people doesn’t think I’m being a prude. but in my mind I think, I want to slit my wrists; why are you talking about this crap?

I bump into a friend at the shopping center, and I tell her, “I’m depressed” and she asks, “Why?” I can see in her eyes that she thinks I’m having a “bad day.” Maybe my car broke down. Maybe I chipped a nail, or couldn’t find my favorite shampoo. I shake my head and listen to her talk about the dress she just found at some great price and I think, “I just want to hang myself in the garage or take a bottle of pills.” That’s what I don’t say to people.

Boboiboy commercials make me cry.The laundry sits in a pile and I can’t get to it. The phone rings and I can’t answer it. My sister wants to talk to me about her plan to celebrate ayah’s birthday, and I want to run away.

If I try to let somebody know how I am feeling, I just know they will tell me that I am too self-involved, being silly or that I need to think about my family and accomplish something and that will make me feel better. I agree, but then again…

i’m depressed. i cry my eyes out every single night. i couldn’t sleep. sometimes i feel that this life is not worth living. i don’t eat. i lock myself in room all day long. i lost a lot of weight. i can’t even remember the last time i feel happy.

i wish i could talk to you. but you doesn’t seem care. you’re the only person who know me better than anyone else. but still, you choose to leave…

Posted on February 13, 2012

orang lain semua dah move on dan dah bahagia. sampai aku pelik how did they do that? less than a month masing-masing dah jumpa pengganti yang baru. aku tetap tak dapat cari seseorang yang mampu ganti tempat dia. aku sedih aku tak dapat nak cinta orang lain macam mana aku cintakan dia…

Posted on February 11, 2012